when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank
I have to say the Kim k app was an amazing business idea and I feel like it has already done wonders for her brand. Now I see pictures of Kim kardashian and I think “that’s my extremely generous friend Kim she really got my modeling career off the ground”
Canada has less people than California alone, and we’re the 2nd biggest country in the world. Gay rights are fully legal, abortion is legal, no racism or descrimination of any kind is allowed, free healthcare, and we have moose. Come live here, we have lots of space!
Okay, so in Science class yesterday we were talking about sleep cycles and melatonin and my science teacher said, “if you’re trying to sleep, avoid one colour. Blue. Your melatonin levels decrease when looking at the colour blue because it’s the colour of the sky.” GUYS, I KNOW WHY NONE OF US SLEEP. TUMBLR IS BLUE.
THE JIG IS UP, YOU SNEAKY BASTARDS. WE’RE ONTO YOU.
there was a big explosion sound outside and i pulled aside my curtain to see what it was but as i did so, so did the woman across the street and we both sort of waved at each other and it was nice even though something may have exploded
no i’m not gonna lend you my pencil because if i lend you my pencil then you’ll want my calculator and then you’ll want austria and czechoslovakia and then you’ll end up invading poland and i will not have that shit